Patch Blog: Insider Tips on Writing College Application Essays

As the school year winds down and summer approaches, it’s time for juniors to start thinking about applying to colleges. For most students, the most challenging part of the application process is writing the essays.

With this in mind, last week I visited the 2012 Greater Los Angeles National College Fair at the Pasadena Convention Center. I spoke with admission officers about what they look for in the Common Application personal essay and in the supplemental essays most private schools require. Here's what they had to say:

The Personal Essay

What they look for: Admission officers said they want a piece of writing that "comes from the heart," and that shows passion and an engagement with the world. They asked that students show them "something new" that is not anywhere else in their application. If you're a tennis star, therefore, write about something else or at least put a different spin on the topic because they already know you love and excel at the sport.

Topics to avoid: Admission officers each read up to 1,000 plus applications each fall/winter, and are tired of seeing essays on grandparents, parents, teachers, sports triumphs (you overcame an injury to help your team win the championship game), foreign travel, and community service, particularly abroad. One admission officer said he read way too many essays on To Kill a Mockingbird. Another said that while she knew that the death of a relative was a seminal event in a kid's life, she would prefer another topic. Another warned against dumping your resume into the essay.

Still another said she sees a lot of essays that use a recipe as a metaphor for life. And a representative from a college specializing in the performing arts asked for no more "stepping onto the stage" essays about when you first knew you wanted to be an actress/singer/dancer.

Topics they liked: Only a small number stand out each admission cycle, they said. A few that did shine: A girl who wrote about having a mullet, a student who survived Hurricane Katrina, a girl's quest to bake the perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a boy who wrote about his soccer cleats.

Content: The college reps said that too often students don't put enough of themselves in the essays. They talk about an event, an issue, a book or a person, but don't inject enough of their reflections or personality into their writing. The admission officers stressed that if a student writes about a person who influenced him or her, 75 percent of the essay should be about the student and only 25 percent about the other person.

Style: Too many applicants are treating the essay like a text, more than one officer said. Essays are coming in all lower cases, with text jargon such as "u" for "you," and without paragraph breaks. Many essays are littered with typos, spelling errors, slang, grammatical errors, and even profanity. The admissions staff expects to see sentences written in proper English, and for students to proofread their essays carefully.

The medium: A few schools, such as George Mason University in Washington, DC,  give students the option of a video essay. The director of undergraduate admissions at George Mason urged students to make a video. She told me the whole office gets excited when one arrives because they know it will be interesting. One she'll never forget: A girl played a song on the ukulele
about why she wanted to attend George Mason.

Supplemental Essays

What they look for: Schools expect them to be as well-written and edited as the personal statements, yet, as one admissions officer said, too many
students "phone them in." Admission officers said they can tell that kids spend a lot of time polishing their personal essays, but treat the supplemental essays, such as "Why do you want to attend X college?" as afterthoughts. This is a mistake because supplemental essays are just as important if not more so than the personal statement, college reps said.

The secret to writing them: Be specific. Take the time to research the school and find programs, classes, professors, and extracurricular activities that match your talents and interests. Otherwise you won't appear to have any real interest in the school, and the school will be less likely to admit you. An admissions officer from American University in Washington, D.C. told me too many students write about why they'd like to study in the nation's capital but mention nothing about American University. The student might as well be applying to Georgetown.

Avoid this application killer: Accidentally putting another college or university's name in the essay. This happens when students recycle parts of essays and forget to substitute the new school's name. Obviously colleges don't look kindly on this. So make sure to proofread the essay one final time before you send it off.

—Alison Bell is a professional writer and the owner of www.collegeessaysupport.com. She helps students with all aspects of the college application essays. Feel free to contact her a Alison@collegeessaysupport.com. Alison is also teaching two college essay workshops at this summer for rising seniors. For more information, contact the South Pasadena Educational Foundation (SPEF) at 626-441-5810 or www.spef.com.