My Life with Katie

Ms. Katarina Amalia Duran will be baptized on the last week of this month. She will be just over 3-months-old. Having a newborn in addition to highly-energetic, jealousy-prone 5-year-old twin girls has not only been interesting and exhausting but quite a test on my patience. The nine months prior to giving birth, however, proved to be a dizzy, emotional and faith-haunting roller coaster that somehow managed to resolve into one of the greatest blessings of my life.  My daughter, nicknamed Katie, has Down Syndrome. 

On August 9, 2010, I received confirmation through blood work that I was indeed pregnant with my third child. It was the day after my 39th birthday. Although I had taken several home pregnancy tests that showed I was expecting, I was praying the entire weekend that these tests were deficient in some way—that they had been on the shelf too long. I prayed everyday for this not to be true. I did not want another child.

My twins had one year left until kindergarten. I felt it was the start of the next phase of my life. I had been lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom with my girls. It was tough on the finances, on my marriage and the dormant adult professional side of my brain. But I knew I was fortunate and tried to enjoy each day. Even with that said, I was ready to unleash the adult within and pursue at least a portion of the career I enjoyed before kids. It was not meant to be. God, the universe, fate—take your pick—had other plans.

As the truth sunk in, and I adjusted to the idea of being homebound for a few more years, I actually began to get excited. Could it be twins again? Would we have a boy or a girl? What would they be like? Ultimately saying to myself, “God, you are old!” as all the aches, pains and nausea began to take over. 

With the knowledge of my “advanced age," the barrage of tests began for various birth defects that are more prevalent in older mothers. Many of these tests search for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome. I began these tests not at all worried about the outcome and clearly not prepared for the results. 

I began this blog in the hopes to help other moms and families navigate not only the emotional struggle but also the day-to-day life commitment that comes with having a child with Down Syndrome. Today, my daughter smiled for the first time. Never did I think something so simple could overcome my deepest fears and insecurities. But for a moment it did. Please join me through Katie’s birth story, and my life journey as her mom.