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Health & Fitness

Patch Blog: Dadmissions on Brave

Pete Wilgoren has a wife, two girls, and a dog named Cupcake. He also has a book called "Dadmissions" and a site on Facebook called "Dadmissions the Book." Come say hi.

My stories all start out with a life experience but this story starts BEFORE the experience. The experience was going to see "Brave" with the girls. But this story starts in Target a week before the movie came out when we walked the aisles of Target in our usual zombie-target-buying formation.  

You know the formation: child in cart, mom at the power position behind the cart steering wheel, another child and father figure at side position acting as cart escorts like an F-16 fighter formation for shopping. So there we are, doing the zombie-target-buying walk looking for the one thing we came to buy, but buying ten things we didn't intend on buying when the girls shout in unison, "Bravvvvveeeeeeeee!!!!" 

Yes, a week before the movie had even come out, Target, Disney, and Pixar had blasted the shelves with Brave merchandise... Backpacks, lunch boxes, etc etc etc. You know the types of stuff they put out for every movie release now: action figures, juice bottles, costumes, sneakers.  In this case, based on the movie, they probably had bow and arrows, beer steins, and action figures of moms turned into bears (see the movie and you'll understand).  

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Only one problem, we hadn't seen the movie yet. The movie wasn't even out yet. And the kids were already asking to buy the stuff for a movie that they haven't seen yet, a movie that they didn't know if they'd even enjoy, for a red-headed hero that they might never even like.  

So that's the argument I used; a swift "No" followed by a "you haven't even seen the movie yet, so how do you know you're gonna like it?" They briefly argued with me but actually surrendered in a moment of childly weakness.
It got me to thinking about Disney and Pixar and all those big movie companies.

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As parents, we can really make things fun for these guys. We control the money so why not! If we all band together to buy the normally offered toys from "Brave" what fun is that? They're playing unfair by releasing the toys and merchandise ahead of time, so we need to play unfair by using the toys and merchandise to our advantage.  

If we all band together and demand the "Brave" do-it-yourself "princess cleaning your room kit" then we win.  I'd also demand the "Brave" make-it-yourself "hero breakfast pancakes" which can somehow be made for real without the actual use of a stove and without a mess. How about the Brave "do your homework so you don't turn into a bear" action figure. The Brave "child's first job to pay for movie tickets action figure". Ooh and one more: the "Brave "go to bed on time, sleep in your bed, so mom and dad can have a few minutes alone kit" which I think would be a top seller as well.  

We can turn it into a win-win for us and for corporate America. They get the money. We get useful toys that don't involve small parts for the dog to eat, stickers that end up on the wood floors, or plastic pieces that get lost and misplaced never to be found again.  Think about it.  And let me hear what you think. Suggestions for useful Brave toys? Or any movie toys?  Let me know.

Meanwhile, the girls finally saw "Brave" this weekend and of course they loved it. I knew they would.  

So today I'm off to Target to do the zombie waltz again and to no doubt buy a couple of Brave toys now that we've seen the movie.

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